It’s been a rough time to be a person with any sense of empathy and moral responsibility. I probably don’t need to go into the reasons why. The worst people are in charge and they’re proud and boastful about the harm they’re doing to the most vulnerable. Many of these people are supported by friends and family we once thought we could trust, and that betrayal hits harder than almost any other part of this. Those of us who are in populations of marginalized people are constantly told that our demands for equality are too much and we should be grateful for whatever scraps we are given. The taxes we pay are being used to fund our oppression, and if there’s a way to make peace with that, I have no idea what it is. We can’t really be sure that the nation we thought we grew up in actually exists anymore, or if there’s any way to get back to a more just society (Don’t get it twisted, The US has never been a Just Society for the majority of people).
There’s very little good news, but this is an opportunity for us to make common cause together and use whatever power is left to us to bend the arc of history back into a more reasonable shape. It’s going to be hard, but it’s not impossible. I don’t have a specific plan for this, but there are some smart people who do, and there are a lot of us who want to see it happen.
And, right now, it’s okay to feel your feelings and be sad and angry. Rageful, even. But these horrible people are not moved by our despair. They laugh at it. It motivates them to do even more awful things to us. So, we can feel despair, but we can’t give up. All of those people with coffee cups labeled ‘liberal tears’ want to see us demoralized and hopeless. So, let’s not give that to them. What they want to do is rob us of our joy, and that’s something we absolutely cannot let them do.
So, get mad, let yourself be mad, but keep seeking, through all of this, ways to connect with joy. Celebrate the small wins. Read books and listen to music that makes you happy. Let joy inspire us to create a world that is better for everyone, yes, even the people who hate us. Do not give the assholes any sense that they’ve one. Let them wonder how we stay motivated for the fight. Let them wonder why we’re still laughing at stupid memes. Let them wonder why their taste of victory is turning to ashes in their mouths.
This is not a ‘bury your head in the sand’ strategy. Joy is survival. Joy is resilience. Joy is defiance. Joy is hope. They want to take all those things from us, and it’s okay right now if you feel like they have, and to be in your feelings about it. But don’t let the bastards win. Don’t let it take your joy and hope from you. Seek out sources of joy, wherever they are. Joy is giant middle finger to the assholes. Keep flipping that finger at them, in whatever ways you can.
For me, I’m worried, yes. My ACA premium might go up significantly and all of my grandchildren are aided by food assistance and Medicaid. I can envision a turn of events where my entire career is made illegal and I am even punished for writing about queer joy. But I’m not going to stop doing it. I will not comply in advance. I’m out here with my full legal name on my books. If they want to stop me, they’re going to have to kill me. I will find ways to distribute my work even if censorship does come full force against us. I am not going back in the closet. I am not going to withdraw support from my trans siblings, or the immigrant community. I am even going to fight for services to help the very people who voted for this, because they are at risk too. I will fight disinformation wherever I find it, even though it feels like it doesn’t even matter if we can prove that truth is on our side. And I will never stop side-eyeing the people who brought us to this place through their action or inaction.
They want us demoralized. They want us to give up. They would like nothing better to see us all crying and decrying what’s happened. And while we need to process our big feelings and make plans for ourselves to keep each other safe as much as possible, we need to practice joy. Find things that are worth celebrating, whatever the source of that is for you. It will fuel us and inspire us to do everything we can to lead our nation, and the world, into a better, more equitable place.
It may not work. Things may get worse. But they may get better too. I wish I had a way to make a reliable prediction. There are more of us than there are of them, and if they see us embracing joy it will affect them, maybe make them lose a bit of their immoral resolve. There is no one way to do this. Do whatever you can, for however long you can. Rest when you need to.
Don’t let the Bastards Grind You Down …