Late last year, after the worst year of my life, I decided to throw another project on the pile (and on top of the wreckage): getting into shape. I had just been dumped. I was finishing up my graphic design degree. I’d been living with my parents for several months. Everything had fallen apart, but I thought, this is something I need to do to feel better about myself. So, I joined a gym, and started going, trying to make it there at least twice a week.
I kind of knew what I was doing? I mean I knew what exercises I needed to work on based on when I’d done this before in my early thirties. I also knew not to overdo it, or I would hurt myself. I did an hour of lifting, and an hour of cardio on the treadmill twice a week (or so).
Here’s what no one tells you when you start something new, especially something hard. It absolutely sucks at first. All these fitness influencers who tell you how instantly good you’re going to feel are full of shit, and then have extra shit stuffed in. It’s the worst. It’s painful. It’s frustrating, even if you start slow. Your body protests. It begs to stop. You feel stupid because you’re not good at it yet. It absolutely sucks.
For me, it sucked for about six months. I kept with it. I had a vision of myself as someone who could do hard things, and that helped. I had the goal of going twice a week, but sometimes it was once a week and sometimes I would skip weeks altogether. But I kept with it. Then, about the first part of April, it just became something I did. I didn’t love it, but it started to bring me joy. I was finally seeing tangible results. My conditioning had improved to the point that it didn’t feel so much like a struggle. I started lifting heavier weights. My body was changing. I didn’t look like a Hemsworth yet (someday …) but there was visible definition in my arms, chest, and shoulders. I’d lost about fifteen pounds. All of this gave me motivation to double down and up my workout to three times a week. And then I started making more progress.
But that first six months? It was awful. Fortunately, I was stubborn enough to stick to it, and now it’s just something I do and challenge myself with. It’s still not FUN, but it is enjoyable on some level. When I miss a workout, I notice, and I sense the lack. But I had to get through that first six months of suckage. I’m told six months is typical for something like this.
It’s like this with a lot of things. Whenever you start something new, whether it’s a fitness routine, or a new career, or an artistic pursuit, or a new habit like writing, there’s maybe a two-week period where you’re excited and it feels easy. Then, it starts to suck. Like, hard. Like should be illegal amounts of suckage. And a lot of people give up at this stage. I think the stats say that something like 85%+ on new year’s resolutions are abandoned by the time the calendar flips over into February. And it’s not surprising. Things that seem like a clever idea when you start absolutely do not feel that way after two weeks or so. You’re struggling and, worse, seeing no progress, so you wonder why you’re wasting your time. Surely, you say to yourself, if this were meant to be I would be having an easier time with it?
But no. New things suck. Sometimes suck hard. You gotta get through the suck. Which led me to a new rule for myself when I start something:
Do it until it doesn’t suck.
That’s it. No matter how much it sucks after the first month, if it’s important to you, stick with it. IT WILL GET BETTER! I promise!
Now, if something just seemed like it would be purely fun and you have no more motivation than that for continuing, you don’t have to continue to do things you hate. But if something is important, stick with it. Do it until it doesn’t suck.
I wish I knew a way to make it easier, beyond simple awareness. Do whatever it takes to get though the suck. If you must bribe yourself with sugary snacks, do it! If you must make a substantial wager with a rival to give them money if you stop (people have found this very motivating), do it. There are no easy ways to get through the suck, and also no rules about how you do it. Whatever works is on the table.
Just realize, no matter how slow you start, the suck is coming. You can’t avoid it. Get through it to the other side, and you will have found new levels of strength within yourself, and you will start to make substantial progress toward your goals. There is no shortcut.
But I will say, it’s worth it. Here, after eight months, I am, at the age of 52, in the best physical shape I’ve ever been in my life. I have not achieved my goals yet, but I’m only 15 pounds away from my goal weight, and I keep getting stronger. I joke about having accomplished FEATS OF STRENGTH, but it is actually motivating to be more physically capable, when that has always been something you felt you lacked. I can see myself continuing this habit for the rest of my life. I’ve even designed a tattoo that I will get when I’ve reached the goal of being able to bench press my own body weight (It’s a Celtic knot symbolizing strength). The best news is I don’t hate doing it anymore.
So, whatever you’re doing, Do It Until It Doesn’t Suck. It’s a simple rule, but it will open many new ventures for you. It applies to everything, sadly. New things can suck for a log time, but if you just keep going, they will stop sucking and they will become an important part of your life.