Whenever you try to live a life where you are producing creative work, there is a trap you can fall into. At least I do, all the time. I look at my rate of productivity, do some math by determining the available hours I have, and make goals for myself. This is not, in itself, a bad thing. I am a planner, and nothing would get done otherwise. However, just because I can make the math work out for these goals doesn’t mean that they are reasonable, or even possible. By the math, I should be able to write 50,000 words a month. That’s only 40 hours of work since I write 2500 words routinely in a regular writing session. Seems reasonable. Is Not.
The thing is, just because I have time, it doesn’t mean I can go all-out like that for five days a week. I really, really can’t. The most I can usually do is two, maybe three, days in a row of that and then I need some time off. At least one day, possibly longer.
In the past couple of years, I’ve written between 30,000-40,000 words a month. And I’ve taken time off occasionally, so I haven’t gotten too overwhelmed. I currently have a ten weeks on, two weeks off schedule that really works.
My life has pretty much been all about my creativity for at least the last five years. Last year I expanded the writing to also get my certificate in Digital Art and Design, but it was still the creativity bug inside me. There’s nothing wrong with that. I love producing creative work, it literally gives me an insane amount of joy and I thank the powers that be every day that I get to make this the center of my life.
However, I’m starting to realize that this part of me becoming so strong has kind of come at the expense of other parts of myself. Other things are becoming just as important, like my physical fitness, my role in my family, and my romantic life.
In fact, my body is increasingly wanting more and more attention. Back in October, after a messy breakup, I started going to the gym a couple of times a week. I wasn’t super consistent with this at first, and it took me six months to get the habit built and increase my conditioning to the point where it was not miserable. I’m there now, and I’ve increased the frequency to three times a week and I’m seeing real gains which makes me insanely happy. I’m getting to the point where I am in the best shape of my life, and at my age, that’s an accomplishment I am really proud of. So, I need to protect that time and keep up with it.
I also am restructuring my social media a little bit (Hello, FaceBook Professional Profile) and release more consistent content in several different lanes, which means being a little more intentional and a little less chaotic (just a little less chaotic, don’t get it twisted). And I’m not doing this so I will sell more books, but to build more of a presence for myself on social media. I’ve kind of found the kinds of things I like to do and am leaning into that a bit more (Not video though don’t expect reels from me). This being married a little bit to my graphic design stuff, making memes and that kind of thing, makes it kind of a package deal. I really am enjoying exploring this part of myself, but it does pull focus a little but from the WORD COUNT FOREVER focus.
In addition, I want to spend more time in my everyday, non-productive life. I want to spend more time with my family and friends. I want to take weekends and go on little adventures, whether solo or with others. I want to be dating more. All of this pulls focus, but that’s ok. I can have a larger life than I thought I could before.
At the same time, I have thirty books I want to write, so I need to stay up with that. And, yeah, I would like to take a nap occasionally.
I’ve had the conception over the past few years that if I was not productive, I did not deserve the life I have. That is my Calvinist upbringing raising its head, like an asshole. I don’t need to embrace hustle culture to be a valid person. In ten two-hour writing sessions a month, I can produce 25,000 words. That is still an insane amount of writing getting done. Some people would kill to be able to produce that much (and yes, some people would look at that and say ‘that’s cute’).
So, I’m dialing back. I’m going to have ten writing days a month and produce 25,000 words. And I’m going to invest time in the rest of my life. Just because I have the capability to be a productivity dynamo doesn’t mean that’s all I am allowed to be forever. This is not to say I regret the focus of the past few years. I don’t. I absolutely needed to prove to myself that I could do this. I wasn’t doing anything wrong. What’s happening now is that I’m evolving into more of a whole person, who is connected to a broader range of parts of himself.
So, Writing Days, gym days, weekend adventures, thirsty texts to available guys, hanging out with my grandkids and my friends, making more social media posts, embracing all the chaos that is my life. As part of this, I’m making my newsletter a bimonthly newsletter. This is fine. Most people prefer newsletters to be less frequent rather than more frequent.
I will still get the books written. I have two more publishing this year. That part of me is not going away because it’s still probably the best part of myself, but it’s going to share space with the parts of me that have been neglected, starting with my body.
So, I hope you’ll all stick with me on this journey. I will share updates regularly on Facebook, Insta, and Threads. Not to mention BlueSky which gets everything else as well as all the feral chaotic thirsty posts that are not necessarily safe for FaceBook. Think of BlueSky as Chad, after dark. I think it’s going to be fun.
This life feels manageable and, more importantly, fulfilling. It’s a new era and a new balance.