Chad Grayson

Everything I Really Need to Know in Life, I Learned from Playing Dungeons and Dragons

I’ve been playing D&D Regularly since 2021, after a lifetime of wanting to and never finding a group. It is, hands down, some of the most fun I’ve ever had. I play an overpowered half-elf Oath of Devotion himbo Paladin. I’m one of the group tanks. This is a character very much unlike me in real life, and that is a feature not a bug. He’s also just recently graduated to having an intelligence modifier of ), up from -1. If you understood all of that, good for you! We should be friends! If not, now you know how I feel when certain people start to gush about fantasy football.

But D&D can also teach you about life. And that’s what I want to talk about today.

1. It matters how you build your character

The way you build your character in D&D (at least the way you do at our table) is you roll a certain number of dice, which generates 6 scores. You take these scores and assign them to six different categories: Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma. Depending on what class you want to play, you assign those six scores to the right categories. You are in charge of how you do this. If you want to play a Paladin, you will assign your highest scores to strength and charisma. If you want to play a thief you will assign your highest score to dexterity, Wizards need high intelligence, etc.

This is applicable to real life because you get a certain number of natural skills and talents you can choose to develop. You also usually get a choice about what kind of education/training you will pursue. It’s like you’re building the character you will roleplay in your everyday life. Some people naturally have a lot of high scores. Some people don’t. It’s just the way it is. The thing is, though, you’re not stuck. As the game goes along, you’re given opportunities to invest more points in different areas, so you can bring up some of your low scores, which explains why my Paladin is no longer dumb as a box of hair. You also gain new abilities in your class as you gain XP (experience points), in the same way you develop skills through experience and further education in your real life. But when you start, you must make some decisions about what you want to do in the game, just as you must decide what kind of things you want to do in life.

2. You Get by With a Little Help from Your Friends

Tabletop Role-Playing games are not meant to be played on your own. Yes, there are solo modules you can play through, but in doing so you miss most of the experience, which is to fit yourself in a party of adventurers, usings your various skills to solve challenges. And also interact with really cool people. It’s the interaction between the six of us at the table that really makes it fun. I’ve met some of the funniest people I’ve ever met in my life in this group (Jeff, I’m looking at you). Also, through collaboration you can come up with interesting ways to solve problems, much to the consternation of your game master.

It’s been suggested that AI can provide a more interactive solo experience, and to me, this completely misses the point. Yes, doing it with a group makes scheduling difficult sometimes, but if you really want to play by yourself there are several video games that will provide that experience. And I say this as an introvert, the camaraderie at the table is the best part of the game. My Paladin would have been dead several times over without the help of the other part members, and vice versa. And the entire point of the game is to participate in an adventure together, both by role-playing your characters and talking shit on the sides.

3. There are Various Ways to Solve Problems

This is related to the last element, but usually there are multiple ways to come at a problem. There might be a puzzle to solve. You might be able to use high charisma scores to talk your way out of a conflict. And then, you, sometimes you have to send the Paladin and the other Tanks to Smite something. In real life, which is seldom the answer, and sometimes the most interesting twists and turns come when you use your collective intelligence to think your way around or through a problem. But if not, your wizard can always cast ‘Fireball.’

4. No Challenge is Unbeatable

Yeah, occasionally you run into a threat you can’t defeat and there is a TPK (Total Party Kill), but a good GM will always make sure there is a way you can defeat whatever challenge they throw at you. It may be difficult. You may have to hope for some lucky dice rolls, but if a monster has stats, it can be killed. It’s the same way in everyday life. There is a way to overcome almost every challenge whether it is professional or personal. I mean sometimes you are overwhelmed, but victory is usually at least possible. Which leads me to the final lesson …

5. Sometimes you are at the Mercy of the Dice

Occasionally, you really need a high roll, and you roll a 1. Other times you crit the monster and do double damage. You adjust your scores based on your stats, but the dice rule in the game in several ways. Meaning, some things are up to luck. You can weight your luck by properly using your skills and advantages, but if the dice don’t go your way, they just don’t. There are occasional opportunities to re-roll, but really, shit happens. You don’t always get the roll you need, and then you need to adapt to the failure, just the way you have to adapt in real life when bad things happen. You must take the hit or find some way to avoid it.

Like I said before, Dungeons and Dragon has provided some of the best experiences of my life, but it’s also helpful in teaching you how to adjust to life in this world, which doesn’t always play fair. I think everyone would be better adjusted if they could find a regular game.

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