I wouldn’t be a writer if I didn’t think stories were important. Stories have, in the past, saved my life. When I was a suicidal teenager, one of the reasons I held on was because I wanted to find out what happened next in Chris Claremont’s X-Men comics. That sounds like a joke, and maybe it is, a little bit, but not entirely. The right story at the right […]
The Stories We Tell Ourselves Read More »
I’ve refined my writing process over the years to something that works pretty well for me. I have a list of plot points and scenes because it’s important that I have some idea of where a story is going. In years past, when I did not have this, I would write myself off a cliff and never finish the project. At least four books died that way and
The Map is not the Mountain Read More »
It’s been a rough couple of months. Sometimes, I have a real ‘my eyes are bigger than my stomach’ thing going on when it comes to things I want to do and accomplish. I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing, but it does lead me into situations where I am stressed and overwhelmed and wondering why. I read something lately, I think it was in Ali Abdal’s ‘Stress-Free Productivity,’
The Art of Winnowing Read More »
I know, I know. You hate rules. I hate rules too. Rules are stupid, can often be reductive, and are not to be trusted. But I have stumbled upon a set of rules that really helps focus me on how I want to show up in the world, how I behave and interact with people. So, maybe we shouldn’t think of these as rules, so much as principles we can
It’s been a busy couple of months here at stately Grayson-Coats manor. A lot going on. Like, a lot a lot. Jimmy and I spent a few weeks furiously planning the wedding. We have a tentative date (Oct 12th), and we pretty much have our colors (grey and purple) and the overall flow of the ceremony, as well as our attendants selected. Our priest has agreed to marry us (which
The State of Things Read More »
The end of the year always makes me reflective, as you can probably tell from my last few posts. Today the subject came up on a podcast: what truths did you learn the hard way? Which made me think about that issue for myself. I’ve learned most things the hard way. I think that’s just part of life for nearly everyone, and these five things are probably not revelatory to
5 Lessons I Learned the Hard Way Read More »
It’s amazing how you think you have yourself figured out, but then something will happen that makes you understand you had everything wrong. You didn’t know yourself, and that’s a little bit scary, but it can also fuel your own sense of wonder. If you maintain the capacity to surprise yourself, your life will never be boring. I had myself pegged and an easy-going free spirit. A real ‘go-with-the-flow’ type
Confessions of a Control Freak Read More »
I’ve had to get real about some bad habits I’ve developed. And it’s kind of funny that I’m posting this a few days after my social media post, but that’s probably also part of the problem. Basically, I’m on social media too much. I hesitate to call it an addiction, because I don’t know if it meets the same criteria as regards to what is actually going on in the
A note about something I’m struggling with Read More »
A while back, when I was going through the process of restructuring my life in a way that would allow me to be productive, I did a deep dive into habit formation. I read a bunch of blog posts, as well as James Clear’s Atomic Habits and Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. All of this was instructive, and I did look at my habits and
The Truth About Habits? Read More »
‘Four Thousand Weeks,’ which at first appears to be a time management book, but in actuality is about humanity’s entire relationship with time itself, blew my mind. It definitely made me think about how I’m using my time. It also made me realize I was stressing myself out way too much over things I cannot control and that don’t ultimately matter much to my overall happiness and the structure of
A Rant about what the f* I think I’m doing. Read More »