Chad Grayson

Life

Some Thoughts on Jesus

              Today is Easter Sunday, and Easter has always been a special holiday for me, because it commemorates a cycle of renewal and rebirth. I no longer consider myself a Christian, but the resurrection is the part of the story of Jesus that makes the rest of it matter. If I still believe in anything – which some days I do, and some days I don’t—it’s in the person of […]

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To My Younger Self

I heard the now Grammy-winning Brothers Osborne song, Younger Me, today and really listened to it for the first time.  And it kind of got me in my feelings a little, thinking about my relationship with my younger self. I was so angry with him for the longest time. I thought he had ruined our life, that he’d been a coward. And yeah, there were sometimes he could have been

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The Bucket List

I am not at the point in my life where I have begun thinking about its ending. Maybe I just have some weird subconscious idea that I am immortal? But I have been thinking about things I’d like to do while I’m still young and healthy enough to enjoy them. Is this a bucket list? You could call it that. I don’t love that term, but it’s the term we

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Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin

              Yesterday, someone I know hit me with a ‘love the sinner, hate the sin,’ and my initial reaction was like ‘Wow! Fuck you too!’ I didn’t say this, of course. I didn’t react at all. The person meant well, I think, but that is just such a classic microaggression, and it’s not hard to understand why I have such a visceral negative reaction to it.               I think it’s

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Belonging

I’ve been listening to the audiobook of Brene Brown’s Atlas of the Heart, and it’s led me to a revelation. I love Brown’s work as a researcher, how she explicates our inner emotional landscapes and describes how our inner needs drive us. I don’t always agree 100% with her definitions, but she always gives me something to think about. Anyway, Atlas of the Heart is an attempt to map and

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Things it took me way too long to learn

Life lessons. We’ve all experienced them. It takes some of us a little longer than others to learn certain things, and I am no exception. So here are some lessons I didn’t learn until I’d been beaten over the head with them a couple of times. 1.  If I’m going to remember something, I’m going to have to write it down. I don’t know how many times I had to

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Equanimity (or, the subtle art of not losing your shit)

The last two weeks has been incredibly difficult. I had a lot going on anyway, but then my son moved in with me. That wasn’t a bad thing, but he’s nineteen. And on top of the usual 19-year-old nonsense, he’s been on and off his meds and has been yo-yo-ing through various stages of a mental health crisis and the whole things has just been exhausting. Every day I do

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Strength

The other day, my BFF Nick and I were talking about writing and, specifically characters. And somehow, we got on the topic of strong characters., and it made me think about what makes a strong character, how you tell if you’ve written one, and how you might go about defining that for yourself.  This led me to think about strength in general, and what made up a strong person in

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How to get things done when your brain is an asshole

              Getting things done has always been a struggle for me. I have pretty intense adhd and keeping up with things has been difficult. I spent years trying to write books and not being able to, years trying to keep up with housework and home improvement products and getting halfway through and just … not finishing. My life was chaos.               But somewhere in the last three years or so,

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